Should you save sex for marriage?
Many teens and young adults are torn between
strong arguments for it and against it.
Some years ago, as I formed and solidified my own
beliefs and convictions about this subject, I stumbled upon a book titled Sex,
Love, or Infatuation: How Can I Really Know? by Dr. Ray E. Short,
professor emeritus of sociology at the University of Wisconsin in Platteville.
Dr. Short was a speaker who was popular to college students and school
assemblies. Although it was originally published in the 1960s, I think you
would still find this book encouraging and enlightening.
He titled chapter 10: "To Be or Not to Be—A Virgin." According to
Dr. Short, science had established 11 facts—backed up by solid
research—regarding the probable effect of premarital sex on your future
marriage:
FACT 1: Premarital sex tends to break up couples.
FACT 2: Many men and women do not want to marry a person who has had
intercourse with someone else.
FACT 3: Those who have premarital sex tend to have less happy marriages.
FACT 4: Those who have premarital sex are more likely to have their marriage
end in divorce.
FACT 5: Persons and couples who have had premarital sex are more likely to
have extramarital affairs as well.
FACT 6: Having premarital sex may fool you into marrying a person who is not
right for you.
FACT 7: Persons and couples with premarital sex experience tend to achieve
sexual satisfaction sooner after they are married. However…
FACT 8: They are likely to be less satisfied overall with their sex life during
marriage.
FACT 9: Poor premarital sexual habits can be carried over to spoil sex in
marriage.
FACT 10: Guilt may push a couple into a bad marriage.
FACT 11: Premarital sex robs a couple of "sexual cement."
Facts are still facts. My point is simply this: Premarital sex just
isn't smart. There are more disadvantages to premarital sex than what
society leads us to believe . Dr. Short doesn't preach or moralize,
but his conclusions clearly confirm the teachings of the One who invented sex
in the first place—it was God's idea. In the Bible, He inspired the writing of
these three powerful verses [among many]:
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed
be undefiled , for God will judge the sexually immoral and
adulterous" (Hebrews:13:4, English Standard
Version, emphasis added throughout).
"He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself . He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away" (Proverbs:6:32-3)
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is
outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his [or her]
own body " (1 Corinthians:6:18, ESV).
Aside from the obvious risks of STDs (including AIDS) and unwanted
pregnancies, there are those not-so-obvious elements of suffering, betrayal,
heartache, remorse, shame and guilt. How often do they show those things in
most portrayals of premarital (and extramarital) sex on TV and in movies today?
Those few moments of pleasure are just not worth a lifetime of grief and
regret.
After getting all the facts, I made the decision some years ago to save sex
for my future marriage—a tough and unpopular decision, especially for a guy.
But I am convinced I will not regret it.
If you think vertically and go God's way, it will be true happiness and pure
joy. And you will never regret it!
You'll find helpful information on saving sex and preparing for a wonderful
marriage in the free booklet.